Subtraction

The annual late August detox has turned into the September Desperate To Get My Life In Order Master Plan.

I stumbled onto my own blog today and skimmed these few dozen posts spanning over 3 years. And I thought that I'd really like to know this woman who is so honest and wishes to be wise. So I will fight my tendency to believe that writing on these pages is selfish and self-centered. Or perhaps I will just acknowledge that it is indeed selfish, but that such selfishness is no longer a vice.

The detox is all about subtraction. I've done it enough times in my roller coaster work life to be intimately familiar with it. 

Visual subtraction, in which I purge everything within my sight that isn't beautiful or highly functional. 

Aural subtraction, in which huge swaths of silence are punctuated occasionally by embarrassing new age music played on a single instrument, with no interesting artistic content... the musical equivalent of warm milk, I guess.

Physical subtraction, in which my daily caloric intake is cut in half, with a satisfying (yet sadly typically short-lived) loss of extra pounds.

Interpersonal subtraction, in which my social world shrinks to my husband and children, and the occasional conversation with a neighbor.

Time subtraction, in which my internal speedometer slows to a crawl, so completely against the grain, but somehow the most important gesture of all.

And this time, one addition: returning to write in these pages. So that perhaps the woman who writes here will have the courage to take over the rest of my life.