I'm Not Afraid

My kids turned me into a Jason Robert Brown fanatic. Productions of Parade and Songs for a New World in which they sang in high school and college are etched in my memory. And today's inner soundtrack is dominated by "I'm Not Afraid of Anything" from SFANW.

I've recognized that the thing that keeps me from living my life as I should (and as I wish) is fear. An odd revelation, for I have never considered myself a fearful person. But not only is fear a powerful motivator, it's also a pretty sneaky operator.

Fear of failure drives me to dot every "i" and cross every "t" until I've convinced myself that my karma is so spotless that the gods wouldn't dare hand me a bad outcome.

Fear of disappointment leads me to allow everyone else's opinion to trump my own best instincts.

Fear of disapproval forces me to swallow every potentially dissenting opinion and belief, superficially agreeing with things that I resent.

And of course, the imagined outcome of not keeping these fears at bay is far worse that whatever actual repercussions they would bring. And so, armed with courage and optimism, I begin to slay these dragons.

I'm not afraid of anything,

Be it growing old or going out of style.

I'm not afraid of anything,

Who would give up what they want without a trial?

Another mile...

I'm not afraid.