I am no stranger to Monkey Mind. Mocking the quest for tranquility, the monkeys swing relentlessly from branch to branch, careening from thought to thought. I don't know when the monkeys took over, but I suspect it was very early on. And the signs that their hold on me is strengthening are getting easier to spot.
My life seems to have chugged along fairly successfully in part because of my monkey mind. Multi-tasking, we call it on a good day. ADD when it gets out of control. Its rewards are many and not to be scoffed at - high productivity, breadth of knowledge, wide-ranging experiences, quick response time.
Yet, the tree-swinging must at least be put in slow motion.
It was foolish and naive to believe that by the time I reached this point in my life, I would turn into one of those people who spends her days in cleansing breaths and clarity of mind. Just like all of those extra pounds, the skirmish with the monkeys will probably always be with me. So lately, I picture them dropping one by one into the forest - first with panic when they let go, then dissolving in laughter when they hit the cushiony trampoline at the bottom.
Rather than shut them down completely, I've been lately listening to them first, trying to get to the bottom of their persistence. And surprise, surprise, there is an overwhelming theme. It's so violently against the grain of what I believe that it's hard to acknowledge and harder to address. So patience is in order. I will sit with their message for a while, let it wash over me, and hope that clarity emerges.
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